Letting Go

My mind which I once loved exploring was suddenly allowed to empty itself of polished speeches about pricing markups and to once again wander corridors full of dreamy imaginings. I let myself dream of a career path that wanders the same odd path my feet have always followed, one in which I’m the stone mason, the bricklayer, the gardener and the gatekeeper all at once. It’s not easy, it may not be lucrative for a long while, but it’s full of unbridled passion and wild joy marked on either side by thickets of wildflowers.

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What Shall Come to Pass — 2019

Welcome, 2019. You began with an air of pure loveliness in the arms of a kind stranger becoming less strange with each passing day, and I have the most wonderful feeling about you. This shall be a year of focus and discipline, exploration and discovery, creativity and mindfulness. I have no resolutions, nor vows nor any opportunities to chastise myself. I’m only predicting what shall come to pass in these next twelve months. Be kind and have courage as we develop an entirely new language for ourselves.

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Adventure Update - p1

On the bus to Invermoriston, a couple in front was kissing so loud and frequently, I swear the giant "SINGLE" tattooed on my forehead grew a size. #foreveralone But if I find someone, please don't let us be so embarrassingly couply on public buses, swapping loud messy kisses. Or do. Whatever. #22yearsandcounting

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How to Say Goodbye

And in the blink of an eye, I'm on a plane to Europe. 

My heart races so much that I'm pretty sure it's going to try to make a flying leap out of my chest back into my mother's arms. That was the hardest part of all this, leaving her arms, dad's, Kaitlin's. Everyone's. 

How do you say goodbye? I'm terrible with goodbyes, always have been. I'm either in denial or I don't let myself feel things until it's far, far too late. 

So here's a massive goodbye to all my beautiful American brethren I'm leaving behind for exactly 98 days. 

Goodbye to my family, huge and loud and crazy and loving. I'll miss you lot so very much and will be sure to quote 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding' any time I'm homesick.  

Goodbye to my dear set of friends from the West coast to the East. I'm sorry I couldn't see each of you individually, but know that I'm going to be alright and you'll see me again soon. 

To the guy who made me wish I had a travel buddy, here's to the trips we might take in future. 

To all the wonderful hipsters of Birmingham and Avondale, thank you for making our city beautiful, and I hope I can join your ranks when I return. Surely there's room for one more cafe... 

To my puppy nieces/nephews...ruff ruff, bark, *whine*, kiss.  

Finally to the sweaty sunshine and insane humidity...new number, who dis? 

I love you, Alabama. I love you South. I love you, America, beaten up as you are now.  

Until November 12.  

Wealth of Words

These are the words Lovely. Strong. Beautiful. Intelligent. Incredibly talented. True to yourself. My treasure. Sweet. JOY. Precious. Dearest. Wise. Amazing. Gifted. Best Friend. You shine like the sun. Quirky. Bubbly. Sparkly eyes. Compassionate. Kind. Strong. Ton coeur est beau. Smexy. Special. Bold. Hard Worker. Dreamer. Darling. Such a gem. Honest. Genuine. Going to do incredible things. Capable. Significant. Radiant. Gorgeous inside and out. Caring. Devoted. Passionate. Loving. Elegant. Unique. Spirited. Gracious. Wonderful. Powerful. True friend. A light. Loved. Admired.

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Learning to Love Myself p. 1

Confidence and gumption are such elusive things, but I seem to have found a bit of it these past few years! After spending a good portion of my life wishing whole-heartedly to be completely different, I've finally reached a place of self-love and acceptance, and hope I can grow more from here. If you're in the middle of that first part, please talk to me, and maybe I can be one of your own stepping stones to a happy place.

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Not That Girl

I've never been asked to a dance, but it never hurt so much as it did during the Beauty and the Beast themed junior prom. Looking back, it's affecting me to this day. "At what point do I get to stop hearing "Just be patient, it'll happen, you're beautiful and they don't know what they're missing." At what point do I get to stop pasting on that smile as I watch my girl friends getting asked to the most casual of functions in elaborate ways, knowing that that has not and likely will not ever happen to me?"

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Hopeless Romantic

Reflection on a once romantic soul who longs to reclaim that nature. What's wrong with being romantic, after all? "If God made us all unique, why are we all so determined to hammer each other back down into the collective ideal? Why must I water myself down so other people can tolerate or handle me?...I'm not "too much" and it's time to dream again."

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Make the World Spin

"The change is you, men and women. You have been shaped by the previous culture, but now it's time to shape your own. Are you content to remain a bystander, judging and silent, or will you cry out against injustice and bring others to task until we can all feel safe and sure of ourselves?"

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